Who will care for me? in my days of decay when they become indistinguishable one from one another, when I sign my name that I no longer truly recognise, or admit that I don’t understand a single part of it, who will explain it to me patiently? not my brother or family I never kept up connections, now my life dwindles into itself, unread books and mementoes on a shelf, the refugee will care for me that is who, the one who had to flee everything they held dear, it is the refugee, in their new world that is who will inherit me.
What, why and how are on the menu today is this the way we tumble from this dizzy ledge? no pledges honoured, ever, by vile suits and red ties their lies echo into dead air, why? We saw monuments to our fallen fall into disrepair no one cares to listen, today’s menu is scripted in advance to satisfy gluttons gorging on blood, ignore fire and flood why? how do they not wake up? these days, these times fly above our simplistic rhymes the crime of indifference allows the leash its length vacuous dolts know enough to never halt unless we go off menu, now we must throw questions like javelins faster further, to land in the comfort zone why, how or what is stopping us?
In the turning of the Earth, the turning of my head over my shoulder life hangs on gossamer threads, I shed my little collections now turning to the front gate and where it leads the tender tugging at my sleeve, as I turn to wave farewell friend, turning home into a cell, it is not well to linger too long in that sweet smoke, turning aside the dogmas now, hoping in the promise of light turning night into day, turning to smile at her face threads can fall into place, turning time into trust of self, the last bastion falls, gate opens, turning to face the light.
Today, today, today I’m repetitiously walking around the block familiar fences shield unfamiliar families, introvert and extrovert alike, today, walking softly my footsteps remain unheard no greeting words today…
Today for some reason there is not another soul out walking no birds talking doves obstinate in silence refrain from cooing, sparrows only flit in alarm at my stealth, I am an apostle of apathy advocate for none following sad silent lines of lost souls around the block, again…
Today, there is no life in me, no God to rescue my soul water tasted odd, today perhaps decay my moral malaise it is like that today, pointless displays unseen, no witness to my moody poet passing silent sunglasses shield tired eyes today.
I know time changes carving mighty mountain rock altering courses of ancient streams, my rock it seems is worn smoothed by swift currents of time moving and tumbling into the indifferent deep ocean, where pebbles rest easy in times enormous embrace.
Farewelling our loved ones rends close curtains that drape my memories rooms where the hearts calculations have their own arithmetic adding or subtracting loss or gain to the relentless refrain of a ticking clock on the stern wooden mantelpiece.
In the hospice, I noticed how the world around the dying had shrunk, down to a bedside table, some photographs, I recall an ornate hairbrush on a crocheted doily…
The head nurse said their world shrinks down around them as they dwindle down and away to a skeletal frame, the feet it seemed to me stayed the same,
I said being new, what do they do and how do they act? They die as they lived Chris she sagely said, it is all in the order of things this shrinking down, discarding the belongings of a crowded life, until the time when the room is filled with familiar faces only they can see, that was a comfort for most well, it was for me.
Immerse yourself in art, read poetry from your shelf try to coat your skin in beauty pretend, if you can, that the universe has a plan we must go with the flow! try as you can to ignore the pleas of the poor victims of war, domestic violence and the epidemic of entitlement that floods the globe, I think you will find as the old song suggests there’s nowhere to run nowhere to hide.